This time last year, I would have told you that I was dating my boyfriend since high school. We had been best friends for about 8 years, and we knew everything there was to know about each other. We had been talking about our futures together since we started dating in Grade 11 – marriage, kids, where we wanted to live, our respective careers. I had my whole life planned out with him – we would get engaged within the year, get married a year or two after that, I would go back to school for my Master of Nursing to become a Nurse Practitioner next year (which would be this coming September), we would get a house, have kids, etc. You know how it goes. I had big plans, and they all involved him. I recall so vividly how much I was hoping that an engagement would be coming soon. We had been talking about it, I had been into various jewelry stores to try on different engagement rings, and I had a whole Pinterest board decorated with ideas for my dream wedding. It has always been my dream to get engaged and married, and I always expected it to be with him. He was my best friend after all.
But for some reason, I didn’t always have peace about our relationship. I struggled to have clarity on if he was the person God had for me, and when I prayed about it, I felt God pulling me in a different direction. Being as in love with him as I was, I didn’t want to listen to these pulls and so I ignored them for a very long time. With that came anxiety and stress over if he was the one for me. I didn’t want to trust God with my relationship because I was so afraid of losing him, and yet God kept pushing me and I kept feeling increasingly more anxious about it. So, one day I sat down and prayed that God would make it extremely clear to me if he wasn’t the one for me. Not was it 2 days later that something big happened in our relationship, and God made it oh so clear what he had been trying to tell me for such a long time – he wasn’t my person. After that, we broke up. It was heartbreaking and suddenly my well-planned future was taken away from me. I wouldn’t be getting engaged or married soon, I wouldn’t be having kids, and a few months later I would find out that I wouldn’t be going back to school for my Master of Nursing in 2022. It was a lot to take in.
With that said, I saw how God worked in my life. I saw how he answered my prayer so clearly. And with all my big plans being taken away from me, I decided to fully trust in Him. My plans for the future, my hopes and dreams. They all went to Him. I have now seen how radically He altered the path of my life after I made this decision.
This year, I am telling you that where I am is nowhere close to where I thought I would be last year. I am single, and nowhere close to getting married. I am not going back to school for my Master of Nursing this coming September. With that said, I am so blessed to be telling you that I got a beautiful puppy Chloe who has brought so much joy and laughter to my life. I have been able to take some amazing vacations with my family and have grown so much closer with them. I have had so much time to rediscover myself and get back into hobbies that I lost sight of when I was in a relationship and too busy for them. The biggest change of all though, which is something that I never saw myself doing, is something that I am most thrilled about.
Back in the fall, I felt God calling me to study Christian Ministry. It came out of nowhere. When I thought about what I would be doing in my mid 20’s, I never thought it would be studying Christian Ministry. It has always been nursing and solely nursing. Having said that, I always felt called to ministry as a kid. I would see and hear about people serving in the church and going on mission trips and I always wanted to be a part of that. I always felt called to serve and I always wanted to go to bible college after high school, but I didn’t get a chance. In high school, I fell away from my faith, stopped thinking about serving and consequently never went on a mission trip, served in the church, or went to bible college. In recent years, I have grown tremendously in my faith and all those desires I had as a kid have been magnified. So, when I started to feel God pushing me towards studying ministry, I was confused but also so excited by the idea. After a lot of prayer, I applied to Liberty University for their Christian Ministry Certificate. And guess what y’all, I GOT IN! I am officially a Liberty University student and get to go back to school and study ministry! I could not be more ecstatic.
I have no idea where God is taking me on this journey. I don’t know how He is going to use me and use this education in my life, but I am so excited to see where He takes me next.
This past year has taught me a tremendous amount about myself, trusting God and life in general. If I can relay anything through my experiences, it would be this: Trust God to guide your life. I know how hard this can be when we have plans of our own, things and relationships that we want to hang onto, and dreams we want to achieve. But when we lay those things down, bring it to God and trust Him with them, you will see how great His plans are for you. They may not look like what you had planned for yourself, but I guarantee that it will be so much more than what you could have ever dreamed.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." – Jeremiah 29:11
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3: 5-6
~ Sarah
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